Monday, April 18, 2011

Ewwww! Dude, What is On Your Shoe?

Okay, this is the 2nd such rant I’ve put together in the past few days. And once again, it comes to us from the world of sports (please – before we go any further: I am NOT making puns today!! Well, not intentionally, though I am enjoying some of these in the editing phase!). Either (a) the world of sports is far stranger than I suspected from a design perspective, or (b) I have got to occasionally log off my darn computer and actually participate in some ‘movement’ rather than just reading about it all the time.

Anyhose, as seen about the Interweb, it seems that a new (?) company called Gravity Defyer is trying to make its way into the multikajillion dollar sports shoe market. And wouldn’t you know it, in the bravely iconic yet strangely illogical world of logos for said products – including the Nike ‘swoosh’ and the ones those other companies have that I don’t remember right now – they have chosen for their footwear none other than… well, there’s no way to sugar-coat this (again, see note about puns above) – they have chosen, quote, a logo that is none other than a ‘slick seed of life’. That’s right: they have a big SPERM as their logo that also appears in the fontation of their name plate as well!

Well, first of all, I have some issue thinking of any ‘seed of life’ as slick. Call me old-fashioned, but slick is just the kind of thing you associate with hair-care products. Hm, I guess I’m forgetting my ‘Something About Mary’ nostalgia… and no, if you don’t know what I’m talking about here, I will NOT explain it! I also think that multicoloured versions of these little ‘fellas’ is also a bit much, but let’s not bring that up. Oops…

Still, as our extensive research revealed, the CEO of the company insists that this logo is for real, in so far as any logo or better said mission statement stands up to the test of reality without having to rely on heavy prescription drugs. Says Alexander Elnekaveh: "Our logo is deliberate. Our customers feel like they are getting the beginning of a new life when they try our shoes. We are not embarrassed by it."

Ah yes, the beginning of a new life, noting that as with shoes, it does indeed take two to tango! At least without basically ‘dancing’ with yourself (wink wink nudge nudge). Interestingly, though, this is only valid for the sports shoes, as the company’s wide and attractive (?) selection of dress shoes for men and women do NOT feature sperm on them, at least not in the form of a logo. No, instead this abundance of ‘new life’ is based on the shoes’ "Versoshock Trampoline" (and we all know trampolines = bouncy, bouncy fun!!) which looks coincidentally like a bed spring located in the heel of the shoes. But the spring is not just springy! No, it ‘propels you forward, reducing fatigue so you can live a healthier more dynamic life!’ Ah, there’s nothing like a big ol’ seed of life propelling forward to help reduce fatigue. Wait…

Even though the logo has obviously garnished media attention and goofy guffaws from morons such as yours truly, the logo has generated some controversy as well. According to GD, online retailer QVC and catalogue Seventh Avenue refused to carry the shoes because of the logo. Okay. I guess doing what QVC usually does, namely, selling eerily realistic dolls excludes you from carrying shoes covered in sperm symbols. Well, shoot! Rats, did it again…

Epilogue: Gravity Defyer has apparently not yet confirmed whether they will follow in the steps of Nike, Adidas and others in terms of seeking professional athletes to endorse their products. Somehow though, methinks there would be one or two candidates out there that might fit the bill of leaving such a ‘mark’ across the country! Or even Britney Spears. Ewwwww!

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  1. Call me crazy Zigster, but I predict someone getting fired in nine months when no revenue is produced. This is a miscarriage of common sense. Someone failed to put their finger on the right pulse. This is not a mutually satisfying logo. I'm not feeling it. Okay, I'm done now.

  2. lol.., not sure about why they use the sperm as their logo, but be honest, their shoes are not bad. If you want to give them a try, right now they have 30 days free trial and 15% coupon code. You can find out here: